Back to Normal?
by TheTeaGirl
Summary: Syed is back on track. He's fine...really he is...and he DEFINITELY doesn't love Christian anymore. Yeah right...
1. Chapter 1

**I've haven't written a Christian and Syed story before, and it's been years since I've written anything at all. I don't have any illusions of being any good, so if you do write a review try to be kind :-) I just love them and was inspired to write this because I wanted a shot at getting them back together MY WAY! :-D**

**This first chapter was obviously written after Fridays episode but I'm going to try and do the rest before the episode, but based on the spoilers...I and see how close they are to the real thing! :-D**

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Girlfriend. Girlfriend... Grilfriend? Somehow the word didn't mean anything to Syed. Well it was kind of funny actually...well it would be funny if he wasn't being expected to find one! How had he found himself here? Well he could answer that for himself; he had been his usual spineless, weak-willed, pathetic self. He had turned his back on the only man who had ever really loved him, the only person he had ever loved and he'd done it in some idiotic attempt to restore his relationship with his family.

All these thoughts were fleeting through Syed's mind as he sat opposite his mother and listened to her talk about Denise. Her _friend_ she was saying, since when? All Syed had ever heard his mother do was complain about her lack of 'decorum' , he couldn't even remember seeing her at any family events...although having said that Syed couldn't remember a family event in over a year where his thoughts weren't entirely occupied by...

This was not helpful! His mother continued to talk...she 'knew her friend', she _knew her friend_? Did she know him? Could she see how miserable he was? He had a feeling she could, he hoped he was wrong. It was easier for him to believe she was totally oblivious to his misery than indifferent to it. He reached across to touch her arm in comfort and she pulled it away, she couldn't even bare for him to touch her. Did he really disgust her that much? He tried to ignore the feeling of rejection and attempted some inane words of comfort. Did either of them really care about Denise's current problems he considered honestly? Or was it just nice to have someone else's problems to think about? Someone else for square to gossip about...

Then Syed looked up...

It'd been weeks. That was weird because they lived so close but he really hadn't seen him for weeks... He thought he saw him once in the corner of the market, but he'd averted his eyes in shock and by the time he looked back up he had gone. Maybe he'd never seen him in the first place, all Syed knew was it took the rest of the day for his stomach to stop swirling, he didn't sleep that night and he didn't eat till the next evening. That was just one possible glimpse.

Right now Syed was looking right at him. When his heart started beating again he was aware it was faster than normal and his mouth was dry, he concentrated on his breathing...this was bad. Christian...that was the only word going though his mind.

As Christian walked over Syed was aware he was talking...'Hoping I'd see you'...'talk to Masood about it.'...wait, he was going?

"About what?" Syed suddenly asked, desperate for him to stay near for a few moments longer.

So he stayed and continued to talk. God, he looked amazing, truly fantastic...those arms...that top looked good on him...his voice was vibrating through his body in a way Syed had only ever known when Christian was talking to him. He really was talking to him as well, sure Christian's eyes flashed between him and his mother but the conversation was with him, his eyes kept returning to his and fixing him with that stare – the one that made Syed feel like he was the only person in the world.

So he was selling up. Why? Was it because of him? What were his plans? Was he ok? Syed looked at his mother as Christian turned and walked away. 'Sell to the highest bidder', he knew she would hate to lose such a controlling interest to the Beale's. He knew he should care...but his only concern was for Christian. Could he risk it?

"I'm going...to get ready for the delivery!" Syed said suddenly.

Zainab raised her eyebrows, "Syed, the delivery is not expected for over an hour."

"I know", Syed said slightly too quickly, "but I need to do a bit of tidying up and...stock rotation before it gets here".

Zainab sighed an exasperated sigh, "Alright, alright, you go. I will finished my drink ALONE and then go and talk to your father about this new...situation."

Syed could tell she was already considering her options. He took his chance and slipped away...

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On leaving the cafe Syed saw Christian by the newsagents; he walked quickly behind the market stalls and managed to catch up with him on the corner.

"So...what's this new business?"

Christian looked down as he answered that it was nothing to do with catering, he obviously really thought Syed's only concern was for the family business. It hadn't occurred to him Christian wouldn't realise his only concern was for _him_. Hurt by the assumption Syed made a quick apology and attempted a fast getaway, but was stopped short.

The change in Christians manor was so sudden and took Syed by surprise, he started telling Syed about his plans to start doing personal training, he smiled as he spoke. Christian hadn't smiled at him for so long...as he smiled he reached out to his abdomen and touched him lightly as he joked about fitness programmes and life style choices. Syed felt his touch shoot through his body like electricity and he had to fight not to finch at the overwhelming physical reaction. Then after Syed congratulated him on his plans Christian took his breath away for the third time that day,

"Trouble is that's all I ever did weren't it, talk about it? When it actually came to doing anything about it I always bottled it."

Like _me_ Syed thought immediately...spineless, stupid, weak...he had to go, he couldn't bare to see his face. He always let Christian down, every single time.

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Talking to his mother made him angry, but he still longed for her approval, and that just made him even angrier. How was it possible she couldn't see how hard he was trying, how much of himself he had given up just for the smallest hope he could regain their love. How much love he had lost in the hope of that regained love...pure love, not dirty sordid sex, pure unconditional love.

He walked away from the house quickly, he needed space, he needed some fresh air before had to go to that farce of...

"Sy!"

Oh no, not now...not when he was so raw and open. He couldn't hide from him now, if Christian saw his eyes right now he would see... Syed kept walking as Christian spoke, as he apologised.

Christian was apologising to him? If it wasn't so sad it would be funny.

Normal, he said. Normal? What was normal? What was normal to Syed? This certainly wasn't normal. 'Normal for me would be to be with YOU!' Syed almost shouted in his head. Normal...

"Sounds good to me." Syed spoke out loud...

...and he walked away.


	2. Chapter 2

Normal?

"Sounds good to me..." and he was gone. Sounds good to me? What did that mean?

Christian took a deep breath and walked away, nothing would ever change. Every time he convinced himself it would he was proved wrong and each time he was proved wrong his heart was broken again.

He thought back to the conversation he'd had with Syed a few weeks ago, 'I don't ever want to see you again'. He shuddered a little every time he thought of those words. He remembered the shocked, hurt look on Syed face as he moved away. He hadn't wanted to see those eyes, that pain. He was angry when he said those words, he was not about to deny that, but looking back Christian couldn't honestly say who he was most angry with Syed or himself...

Christian reached his flat, opened the door, climbed the stairs two at a time before letting himself through the final door and arriving into the sweet solitude of his home. He tossed his keys on the table and flopped onto his sofa, rubbing his hands down his face he let out a long breath. Why? Why did he seem to take pleasure in torturing himself? Masochist. He'd spent so long trying to pull back from Syed, avoiding seeing him. He'd tried to detach himself during their conversation in the cafe too, but when Syed approached him outside it all went wrong. He'd tried to walk away, but the tone in his voice...he sounded so dejected, he sounded like he...still cared for him? Could that be possible?

But what about now? Syed had walked away...he'd hardly even acknowledged him. Christian knew he'd been stupid with that throw away comment earlier, but the hurt was still there and he really didn't mean it as badly as it came out. Shit.

Normal? What the hell was 'normal' anyway?

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It was early in the afternoon and a couple of days later when Ian got in touch.

Christian had made the effort over the weekend not to think about Syed. He'd made the effort not to think about him when he went to the shop and bought Syed's favourite cereal. He'd made the effort not to think about him when he sat in The Vic listening to Roxy talk about some 'fit bloke' at the end of the bar. He'd even made the effort not to think about Syed when he popped into the office at Masala Queen to get some papers he needed for the sale. He'd made the effort. It was all hopeless of course; his face was everywhere he looked, his voice everywhere he went, his scent...

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

Sometimes Christian genuinely felt he was losing his mind. Losing his mind to that gorgeous, sexy, infuriating man as surely as he'd lost his heart.

So when Ian got in touch that afternoon Christian was half-way through the lecture he had been giving himself all weekend. The one entitled "Don't even think about it!"

"Yeah..." Christian absentmindedly answered the phone.

"Christian, your boyfriend has been in touch..."

"My...my boyfriend?"

"Syed."

"Ian, for the last time Syed is NOT my boyfriend...I wouldn't even go so far as to call him a friend these days and..."

Ian cut him off, "I don't need details of your private life Christian, I may never sleep again...I just wanted to let you know Syed got in touch with me this morning and stupidly let it slip that the Masood's have managed to get a loan agreement in the hope of buying your shares. I now know what their offer will be so I am offering to match it plus five percent, that is a substantial amount more than my previous offer and more than you are likely to get elsewhere."

Christian was surprised mostly because he'd had a somewhat stilted conversation with Masood this morning when he had been told they didn't have a meeting with the bank until the end of the week and even then a loan would be highly unlikely after the Masood's relatively recent money problems.

Christian started to process...Syed...loan...Ian...he couldn't possibly? Surely Syed would realise that by telling Ian this he was leaving it almost impossible for his family to pull together the money they would need to buy his shares? He was pricing them out of the market, why would he do that? Unless...? Christian's heart started beating a little faster, was it possible Syed had called Ian to intentionally to push him into upping bid? To increase how much Christian would get for his shares...at the expense of his family?

This needed further investigation, he told Ian he would be in touch, hung up the phone and left his flat. He had to find Syed.

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He didn't have to look far; he walked around the corner and found Syed sitting on the swings. Christian glanced towards the alleyway, then headed towards Syed and took a seat on the neighbouring swing. The thought crossed Christians mind that these swing seemed to get used by adults almost as often as the kids.

They sat in silence for a few seconds.

"I just needed some fresh air." Syed spoke quietly, as if he felt he needed to explain away his presence on the swings.

"Me too", Christian replied. He paused, "Actually that isn't entirely true...I was hoping I'd find you."

Syed looked up and across at him, Christian couldn't figure out whether Syed was surprised he had been looking for him...or surprised he had _admitted _he was looking for him. Christian took a breath, when was it they went from sharing everything to taking in code? This had to stop.

"Ian called me; he told me what you said. I know your family have an appointment with the bank at the end of the week, so I know you lied. I just need to know why."

Syed was still looking at him; the shock had now changed slightly to include fear. He looked like a rabbit in the headlights; he looked like he was going to bolt.

"Syed, I'm not judging you. I'm not asking you to explain yourself. I just need to know what is happening here. I don't feel I can make a choice about what to do next unless I know what you are thinking..."

Syed shook his head, but not in disagreement, it seemed to Christian that Syed was struggling to know what to say.

"You're not thinking of refusing Ian's money are you? You know my family could never afford more, not even with a loan, and we both know a loan is highly unlikely..." Syed still refused to look at Christian and kept his gaze firmly fixed on a point on the floor in front of them.

"If you knew talking to Ian would price you out of the deal why would you do it? I hope you didn't feel you owed me, you don't you know, I'm ok, I'm not your problem anymore..." Christian took another deep breath; he really didn't mean that to sound as harsh as it came out.

"It's not about owing you!" Syed snapped. He sound upset.

Christian looked up at him and caught Syed's eyes, their eyes locked.

"I wanted to help, I just wanted to help you, I...I knew you would need reasonable amount of money to set up properly and keep yourself afloat for the first few months. I just wanted to know you'd be ok. Ian would pay through the nose for a controlling interest, so I knew if I hinted that we had a loan he would increase his price. Christian...please take the money from Ian, we could never offer you more, and you know that." Syed held Christians gaze.

Suddenly the gaze broke and Syed looked back as the floor. Syed took a shuddering breath and got up, walking behind him Christian flinched as Syed touched him back and a spark of electricity shot through his body. Syed pulled his hand away quickly in response.

"I...I still...care about you Christian..." Syed said quietly, and then he was gone. Christian thought he'd heard tears in his voice.

He still cared. Christian's heart started to beat faster again and he felt a little sick. What the hell did that mean?


	3. Chapter 3

He shouldn't have done that. Shit. Christian had caught him at another bad moment and he'd opened up. He'd told him the truth, not the white lies he was meant to be concocting during his 'walk to the shop'.

Syed walked quickly through the park and stop shortly sitting on a bench. Phoning Ian had seemed like a great idea this morning. Christian had been on his mind the last few days, not that that was unusual but this time it was a specific issue, a _specific_ problem – this was something Syed could deal with, he liked solving business problems, they were easy. As he'd lay in bed the night before he had formulated a plan to help Christian get as much money for his shares in Masala Queen as possible, it was the one practical thing Syed felt he could do to help his friend.

Friend, that should have seemed like a funny thing to call Christian but it wasn't, Syed knew that no matter what they had become, no matter about the love, the passion, the pain...putting all that aside Christian was always his friend. He was his one confident, one champion, the one and only person that knew him for exactly who he really was and accepted him anyway – he was his best friend. He was still his Superman. Syed was a romantic at heart so he knew this would be the case of course, he hoped and deep down he knew, that the love of his life would also be his best friend.

He just hadn't realised his best friend would _become_ the love of his life.

Yes, he accepted it now. He was gay, he was a gay Muslim and he was in love with Christian. That's what he family didn't seem to understand. This...all _this_ wasn't about him denying he love for Christian, it was about him choosing to reject that love, _choosing_ to live the life of a heterosexual man for their sakes. Syed smiled in spite of himself, he really couldn't help it, it sounded stupid even as he said it to himself.

He shook it off and tried to clear his head. It was one slip, one brief slip. Just because Syed could feel the electricity rolling through them like an approaching storm didn't mean Christian had felt it too.

Syed thought of those words again, 'I don't ever want to see you again', he thought of the anger he'd seen in Christian's eyes that evening...he didn't want me.

He thought of the night he returned from the hospital and saw him with _that man_. Surely Christian had heard what had happen? But yet...

Syed caught a tear that he hadn't even realised was slipping down his cheek and nervously looked around him to make sure no one was watching him.

'Christian has moved on'.

That was a fact Syed had repeated to himself so many times in the last few weeks it had almost become his mantra. Christian had moved on and so must he...but moving on wasn't an option for Syed, he had accepted that a long time ago.

Syed stood, but as he stood a fleeting image came to Syed's mind, the smile from a few days ago. Christian had smiled at him, as he'd talked about his new business he'd smiled and reached out to touch him. If he allowed himself he could almost image Christian still...

No. Shaking his head again Syed took a deep breath and headed out of the park.

Though even as he walked there was only one word he repeated in his head, his true mantra, the word that had kept him going all these weeks – all these months. It was so a part of his heart now he wasn't even aware he said the word, the name.

Christian...Christian...Christian.

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He had to put this right, with Christian.

He pressed the buzzer and it took a few moments for Christian to answer. When Syed said he needed to talk to him and he thought he'd heard Christian say something before the door opened. Was someone in the flat? Who was it? Syed felt nervous again, he really needed to talk to Christian alone.

What would he say if there was someone else there? Who was it...a man? He felt sick at the thought but headed up the stairs to see what he would find.

Syed wasn't sure if he was relieved or horrified by who he found in Christians flat, relief first – it wasn't a man. Relief was replaced by horror as quickly Roxy's smile was replaced with a glare on seeing his face.

Syed had never really got on with Roxy, they were very different people of course, but Syed had to admit he was jealous of Roxy from the beginning. Even in the early days Syed had wanted Christian to himself. Not selfishly, at least not really, but Roxy and Christian had seemed close and had a history. Syed had wanted Christian to come to him when he needed someone...looking back it had really started after Christian had been attacked following his engagement. Syed had felt the need to be the centre of Christian's world, just for a while, to help him through, and Roxy only got in the way of that.

Syed also felt Roxy didn't really understand their relationship. He couldn't really blame her for that he often reasoned, but she didn't seem to understand how deep their feelings ran. She seemed to treat their relationship as a fling, or something that could easily be 'gotten over', or pushed aside. She didn't seem to realise how much he truly loved her friend, what they had shared.

But then how could she, all she had seen was how much Syed had hurt Christian. He hated himself for that, so wasn't it fair that Roxy should hate him also?

He looked into her eyes and saw her say

'He could do so much better',

...and Syed thought, yes he could! Christian deserves someone who can love him in the way he deserves to be loved. Love him as much as I do Syed thought, but someone who is brave enough to show it, no questions asked.

'Christian deserves so much better than you' Roxy's eyes said as he looked at her on entered the room. Syed agreed and looked away from her stare. He deserves some to give him everything.

Maybe Roxy and Syed actually weren't so different after all.

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"So..." Syed started carefully, he really wasn't sure what to say. He didn't know what he was planning on saying anyway, but with Roxy her...this just didn't feel right.

"I just wanted to check you didn't get the wrong idea before...I mean..." he glanced at Roxy then tried again. "I didn't want you to think, or...I mean to get the wrong idea, or...shit!"

Christian looked at Roxy then back to Syed, "What are you trying to say Syed?"

"I've been going to counselling." Syed announced as if explaining the whole purpose for his visit in that one statement.

Christian looked a bit taken aback by the sudden declaration but nodded, smiled kindly and told him he hoped it was helping him and understood the last few months must have been hard on him. They had been hard on everyone...

"No Christian you don't understand. I haven't been seeing my counsellor to help me deal with the last few months. I've been seeing him to...he's been helping me with my problem...he's helping me get past my SSA." Syed shuffled his feet and looked at the carpet as though it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

"Your what?" Christian asked, not really certain of what Syed was telling him but getting a sinking feeling in his stomach that he could guess.

"My SSA" Syed mumbled, then looked up to meet Christian's eyes again, "My 'Same Sex Attraction', he is helping me get over my problem, fixing my..."

"Fixing your problem Sy?" Christian raised his voice, "Is that what you think I have Syed? Do you think I have a problem? Am I ill? Have I got some sort of psychological problem that needs to be treated? Do I have demons that need to be cast out? Do you think _I'm_ sick Syed?" Now Christian was getting more than angry, just when he thought Syed couldn't possible hurt him more than he already had he came in and proved him wrong again.

"No!" Syed practically shouted, "I didn't say that. It's works for you, you're happy and..."

At this point Roxy could take no more, "Happy Syed? You think Christian's happy do you? You stand there and I'm expected to watch while you break apart MY friend – again! You tell him you're in counselling to fix whatever _fault_ you feel you have inside ya that made you fall for him in the first place. You claim you loved him but it seems you think it's alright to hurt him over and over again as long as you stand by your precious religion and family...you make me sick, can't you see what you're doing to him? Do you really care?"

"Roxy enough!" Christian spoke through the tears in him voice, he looked at Roxy the whole time as he spoke to Syed, "Syed I think you need to go...I can't do this anymore, I don't have the energy to fight it..."

Syed stood with tears running down his face and looked from Christian back to Roxy and over to Christian again. Roxy never took her glare from Syed, Christian didn't look up,

"Just leave Sy...please." Christian spoke again, only this time it was almost begging.

So Syed turned and left.

As Syed ran and almost tumbled down the stairs he struggled to think straight – that wasn't how he meant it to go. That wasn't what he'd planned. But he didn't have a plan did he? He wondered how that conversation might have gone if Roxy had not been in the room. If he could have been himself, the self he only ever was when alone with Christian, when alone with the man he loved.

He stayed inside the door at the bottom of the stairs and cried, he couldn't go out there yet. He looked back up the stairs as he leant on the door and felt...panicked? He knew he felt sick. He'd hurt Christian again, the one thing he swore he would never allow himself to do.


	4. Chapter 4

He'd thought he was angry with Syed at first. He was angry with Syed, but not as furious as he was with Masood and Zainab. He knew where all this had come from, he knew this was about pleasing them.

He was still angry with Syed, angry that the man he loved couldn't just turn around and tell everyone that he was the one he wanted to be with. For once Christian wanted Syed to put him first. In his heart Christian didn't just want to be first with Syed, he wanted to be the only one that mattered.

This was never going to happen though. Christian did believe Syed when he'd told him that he loved him...but he was still always last on his list. When pushed Syed had always sacrificed Christian's heart in order to protect his family or even Amira, and that hurt even more than Syed apparent inability to stand by his side.

So yes he was angry at Syed, but more than anything Christian just wanted Syed to be happy and he couldn't understand why his parents wouldn't want the same thing. Christian had come to terms with the fact parents could let their children down, not quite live up to expectation, he'd done that a long time ago. But Syed's loyalty to his parents in the face of their apparent total indifference to his happiness confused and incensed him.

Surprisingly it was Masood who angered Christian the most, Zainab made him sick but he almost felt sorry for her in her ignorance and had started come to terms with her attitudes. Her behaviour and lack of concern for the feelings of her son broke Christian's heart...but where she was concern it was almost to be expected now.

Masood, on the other hand, was different. Christian liked Masood, respected him even. They had always been friends and as far as Christian was concerned Masood had never seemed offended by his sexuality or relationships. To Christian Masood had always appeared to be the perfect father, a man who would put his family first.

Masood's immediate violent reaction to Syed's sexuality and their relationship had taken Christian aback, but he'd known it would be a shock and made allowances for that. Then when Masood had left Christian lying in the street after Amira's father's attack, he had broken his heart as surely as if Masood had been the hand behind the attack in the first place. This was a man he liked, he trusted, he respected and with every passing week his faith in Masood as a man was proved wrong.

Christian's friend had let him down, and more importantly Masood had let down his son. His beautiful, amazing, loving, loyal son...Christian was beginning to hate him for that, and Christian didn't hate easily.

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Christian knew it was childish, but it didn't seem to matter. They had messed with him, they were hurting Syed, he wanted to mess with them a little too...to be honest he just wanted to remind them that he was still there, he wasn't going anywhere and they were going to have to come to terms with that.

If they thought he would stand back while they broke what was left of Syed soul they were seriously mistaken. He was down, but they were underestimating him if they thought he was out, and underestimating Christian was always a mistake.

Besides it was his booking, he was the one that had messed up the order, he did genuinely want to make up for that, it was his responsibility to help...Christian smiled, picked up his equipment and headed out, he knew of a certain little lady who would be happy to help with his naughty plan...

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So it was about an hour later when Christian arrived at the party and it was already starting to get lively...well as lively as a party at The Vic ever got, even now Roxy was 'queen'.

He headed straight towards Jean with his box of goodies and a smile on his face.

"Little bonus for the birthday girl!" Christian grin turned into a genuine smile, "I'm sorry Jean, I messed up..."

"Oooo, don't be silly!" Jean smiled and out her arm around him, "It's all turned out so lovely! Thank you for everything you have done."

Christian nodded his head in a mock bow and grinned again, "Well anyway, I'm at your service m'lady, and I come bearing gifts..." Christian saluted and went about handing out his little parcels...tiny cones of fish and chips courtesy of Lucy in the chippy!

He was sure Ian wouldn't mind...

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The first time Christian became aware of Zainab he caught her glaring at him from the other end of the pub. He ignored her and carried on; he handed out his food and chatted cheerily with friends and acquaintances as he walked around.

Next he knew she was there, right next to him, she seethed, "What are you doing here? This is our job, our function, _our_ business. This has NOTHING to do with you. "

Christian took a breath, "I messed up the booking Zainab, I felt bad, it's a free country and I'm not charging, I just wanted to do a little something extra to say sorry."

Zainab almost growled, "Why? Why are _you_ everywhere we go? Everywhere we look? Taunting us? Taunting my family with your filthy, disgusting... I want you to leave."

Christian controlled his temper, "I'm not going anywhere Zainab, I told you once before, it would take more than you are capable of to make me..."

"Make you what?" Zainab screeched, "It is too late. You lost. You tried and you lost. He doesn't want you. He never did, you just fooled yourself. You fooled him! He is fine now, he is cured, he is better...and he is going to be happy. He will find a nice girl, he will be married, have a family and YOU will become nothing but a distant memory!"

The pub had fallen silent at this latest outburst; it was too loud and altogether too juicy to be ignored.

Christian stood in shock. Not at the words, nothing could surprise him from this women anymore, what surprised him was Zainab's willingness tackle this in public, to bring this into the public arena.

"We don't have to do this Zainab..." Christian tried, Syed was a private man and this is not what he would want, "...let's just leave it and..."

"YOU 'leave it' Christian! YOU leave my family and my son alone; you leave _my_ son to be happy!"

That was it, "Happy? You think he's happy? He's miserable Zainab. You are stopping him from being who he really is. He is a gay man Zainab and as long as you are forcing him to live otherwise he will never be happy!"

Zainab grabbed Christian at this point, "My son is not...GAY..." she spat, she could barely say the word, "he is normal, he is nothing like you! You just want to play with his mind, you're playing a game and you are scared you've lost. Well you HAVE, get over it."

Christian was surprised to find himself fighting to control his emotions, fighting to control tears. This broke his heart. Was this what Syed had to face up to every day?

He tried again, the whole of The Vic now listening to every word, "Zainab, you are making your son live a lie; you are stopping him from being the man he is. You don't have to be ashamed of who he is Zainab because he's amazing, he's the most amazing person I've ever met. He has this huge heart and..."

"I do not need someone like you to tell me about _my_ son" Zainab cut in angrily.

"I think you do" Christian continued, "because you are killing him from the inside. You are killing his soul, his..."

"Enough." Both Zainab and Christian turned suddenly to the voice, it was Masood. "You have no place telling my wife how _you _think we should live our lives. This is none of your business. Now, can I ask you to leave? This public display of our_ personal_ lives is unacceptable and has nothing to do with you."

Once again Christian found Masood's calm dismissal harder to take than Zainab's vitriol, he was so cold. "Masood, this has everything to do with me, surely you can't expect me to stand by and watch you do this to him?"

"Do this? Who do you think you are lecturing _my_ family?" Masood was getting angry.

"Who am I? I'll tell you who I am Masood; I am the man who loves you son. I love him more than I could possibly even begin to describe and I will NOT allow you push me out of his life if I don't believe he is truly happy, I will not allow you to do this to him!"

The next thing Christian knew he felt a fist come into contact with his face; there were a lot of gasps and general noise around him followed by a familiar voice, Roxy. Christian kept his face turned away...

"Get out! Get the hell out of my pub! _Both_ of you out...now! ...and I don't want to see you in here again, you're not welcome 'ere!"

...more noise, shuffling, presumably the Masood's leaving. As Christian turned and looked up he saw Roxy walking towards him, she ran the palm of her hand down his cheek gently,

"Babe...come on, sit down." The crowd that had started to build was beginning to break up now, everyone trying to catch a look at Christian before moving away...some in genuine concern.

As they sat a familiar face broke through the crowd. He walked over and sat next to Christian with Roxy...the three sat silent for a few seconds.

"Everything will get better Christian, it just takes time." Ian said quietly. Pause. "By the way, where did you get those fish and chips from?" Ian smiled and raised his eyebrows.

Sometimes Ian's support surprised Christian when he least expected it. The question went unanswered. Christian winced as he attempted to smile at Ian's well-meaning but awkward efforts.

Christian looked from Ian to Roxy and smiled weakly again leaning back and sighing, right now he couldn't see that, from where he was sitting things could only get worse.

But for now it was time to move on to other problems,

"So", Christian spoke looking at Ian, "How's Ben? What happened?..."


	5. Chapter 5

Syed sat at home alone. Tamwar was out somewhere, as were his parents. He knew where they were, they were at the party at The Vic, the one Christian had asked them to do the catering for. Was Christian there too? Maybe that was why Syed couldn't face going this afternoon, or maybe he really did just need some time alone. He was so angry with his parents, and angry with himself for not being stronger.

But the thing was Syed couldn't figure out what he wanted the strength for anymore. He thought it was to be strong enough to walk away from him...but maybe the strength he should have been asking for was the strength _to_ walk to him, to stand by him.

Syed sat in silence. He was pretty sure they would be a few hours and he would have plenty of time to get his head straight and at least _appear_ to be ok by the time they returned home.

Even as the thought crossed Syed's mind he heard the front door open and the sounds of his parents arriving home. They were arguing...they were arguing _and_ they were early, this could not be good.

Syed started to stand; he guessed he had no choice but to attempt to play the peace maker for this one. Then he heard Zainab speak,

"You HIT him. You actually hit him...physical violence. We are meant to be above that sort of behaviour. We are meant to represent our faith. We do NOT get involved in brawls in public bars!"

Syed stopped and listened, what the hell was going on, what possibly could have happened...he stopped...then a thought crossed his mind...no...

"You started this Zee, you started the argument, and YOU were the one airing our family's dirty laundry to everyone in The Vic. You were arguing with that man, I was standing up for our family's honour."

Zainab gasped, "I did not start it. He started it, and as much as I abhor the man it was you that made it physical. It was you that hit him, sinking to his level."

"His level? He was disrespecting all of us...love...who is he to talk of LOVE? He cannot love our son...it is wrong, he is wrong, he..." Masood looked up to see Syed stood in the doorway to the lounge, tears streaming down his face, but with fury in his eyes.

"You hit him?" Syed asked quietly, calmly...too calmly.

Zainab stepped in. "It's over Syed, it's dealt with, he is dealt with. We need to move on, forget..._him_ and moved on as a family."

"_He_ has a name mum, he has a NAME and his name is Christian. Can you say that? Christian?" Syed was beyond angry now.

Zainab actually looked a little scared as she replied, "Christian. Yes I can say it...I don't wish to though, I don't _wish_ to even think of that man..."

"This is not helping anyone" Masood took this moment to try and calm the situation down, "we just need to forget this happen, it is regrettable, but it has happened and we do need to just move on."

Syed had calmed down, at least outwardly. He spoke quietly again, "You're a hypocrite dad. You preach the word of Allah, you've brought us up giving us rules to live our lives by, but when it comes down to it _you_ can't even live by those rules yourself."

"Syed!" Masood spoke sharply.

"No," Syed made for the front door, "I don't even want to look at you right now!"

...and with that Syed left, leaving a stunned Masood and Zainab behind him.

#######################################################################################################################

Syed knew where he was going; he just didn't know how he would face him.

It wasn't a choice though, he knew Christian was hurting and he needed to go to him...to apologise...for his mother, for his father...for himself.

He'd known _he_ had hurt Christian, but possibly worse he had allowed other people to hurt him. He had allowed his parents to hurt him, both physically and mentally.

He realised something he often forgot, sometimes even Superman needed protecting.

As Syed approached the door to Christians flat he stopped short and remembered what his dad had said. He'd said love, he'd said Christian had told them he _loved_ him...still? After everything Syed had done?

The anger and upset Syed had felt started to melt away, and was replaced by two even stronger emotions, love...and hope.


	6. Chapter 6

Christian had only just got home when he heard his door buzz. He'd heard the news about Ben, poor kid, and tactfully sent Ian home. He needed to be with Jane. Ian probably wouldn't have realised how upset Jane would be, but Christian knew Jane cared for Ben and would be worried sick.

He'd then spent a few minutes reassuring Roxy that he was fine, 'I'm a big boy Rox," he'd said, "I can look after myself." That got a wink and smile. "Well I wouldn't know about _that_ Christian...but that doesn't mean your friends don't want to take care of you sometimes."

He'd explained he just wanted some time alone, but that he was really ok. He was going to go back to his flat, get a shower and try and unwind for a while. When Roxy went to object Christian reassured her he wasn't cutting her off, just taking some time out. He'd promised to come back to The Vic later that evening for a long chat.

So when Christian got home he'd done just that, had a quick shower changed into some sweats and a t-shirt and sat on the sofa with a beer. Then the door buzzer went. He ignored it.

It went again.

He did nothing again, he didn't even know the outer door had shut, but he didn't really feel in the mood for visitors so was kind of glad it had. Whoever it was might just presume he was out and leave.

The third buzz was three short bursts, Christian sighed and got up, pressed the button. Christian spoke,

"Yes?"

Silence.

"Hello."

Silence.

"Is someone there?"

"Christian, I..."

Christian heard his name and his stomach turned over, for about the millionth time since he'd met this man. 'Here we go again' he said to himself, and pressed the door release button. Christian checked his main door was open, grabbed his beer again and sat back on the sofa. The afternoon was about to get complicated again.

########################################################################################################################

He heard the door open and knew he had come in, but Syed had said nothing and made no attempt to make his presence known for maybe a minute. Then he walked around and sat on the end of the sofa, not speaking, not looking up...not looking at him.

Christian just watched him, waiting to see what he would do or say. After their last meeting Christian really didn't know where they stood anymore.

After several long moments Syed pulled his eyes away from the _fascinating_ carpet and looked at him. Syed gasped, and went to reach to out to Christians face, then stopped and dropped his hand again. He looked away again...

"I'm sorry", Syed whispered quietly, "I'm so sorry." He repeated.

Christian took sympathy in him. "It wasn't you Sy; it's not your fault."

Syed looked up at Christian again, he held his gaze, "I might not have punched you myself, but we both know it is my fault..." Christian went to cut in, to argue that this was not his doing, but Syed continued. "I've allowed this to happen. I've allowed them to do this to us, not by my actions so much as by my inactions. I'm a weak man Christian...and I've caused all of this..."

He reached up again and this time Syed did run his fingers lightly over the side of Christian's face, it was darkening already there was going to be a bad bruised. Christian felt the touch like little shots of electricity through each of Syed's fingers and pulled slightly away from his touch.

"Sorry," Syed said moving back away, "does it hurt?"

Christian answered honestly, "Yes, but the physical pain is the least of my worries...why are you here Sy anyway? What do you want?"

Syed voice cracked slightly as he replied. "I just needed to see you; I wanted to make sure you were ok. I heard what had happened...well I heard that dad had hit you and...I _needed_ to see you, to make sure you were...shit...!" Syed covered his face and sobbed.

Christian's heart broke; he couldn't sit back and watch Syed in pain. No matter what had happened he was incapable of that. Christian moved a few inches closer and put his hand on Syed's back, he stroked up and down as he spoke quiet soothing words.

Then Syed truly shocked him by spinning around and wrapping his arms around Christian's waist. He grasped so tightly it took his breath away for a second. Christian did the only thing he was capable of doing and put his arms around his former lover; they sat like that for long minutes. Christian rocking gently as Syed rested his head against his chest and cried softly never really releasing the tight grip his arms had around Christian's waist.

"I can't...I can't...I can't..." Christian could hear Syed quietly repeating after a while.

"Can't what?" Christian asked, pulling back in the hope of hearing a real answer this time. He was getting to the point where he was never sure what he was going to hear next from this man.

He was not expecting what he was about to hear.

"I can't _not_ love you Christian!" and Christian gasped as Syed practically lunged towards him. Christian felt like his heart stop beating for a second, but as Syed's lips barely grazed his Christian stopped him and pushed him away.

"No SY!" Christian got up and almost ran around the back of the sofa, putting it between them. He needed a barrier. "I can't do this, I can't let you do this, I can't trust you...not now...I love you so much and I'm sorry..." Christian looked into Syed's eyes and felt physically the pain he saw there, but forced himself to continue. "...but I NEED to ask you to leave Syed, I'm so sorry...but like I said, I can't trust you...I can't trust you not to break my heart again...and I don't think I could survive another hit."

Tears sprung from Christian's eyes and both men froze, staring at each other. Then Syed did the only thing he could do.

For Christian.

He put him first.

...and he left.


	7. Chapter 7

So Syed was back to the original question...girlfriend?

In many ways the question was even more heartbreaking than it had seemed a few days ago. Possibly because everything that had happened with Christian had just highlighted how much Syed missed him, needed him...craved him!

He also had to admit his parents behaviour just confirmed what he already knew deep down. He was putting his life in the hands of people who cared more about the respect they received from their community and their public image than his happiness. If they couldn't understand how much Christian really meant to him what hope did Syed have for the future?

The third and most heartbreaking realisation was that he had managed to convince himself that it was only his heart he was risking, that after Christian had turned him away he would get over him and move on. Syed never doubted Christian's love for him – he was only love he'd ever truly known – but he'd put Christian on a pedestal and always believed he could do better.

He'd realised at Christian's flat yesterday he was wrong...

Syed had seen his own pain reflected in Christian's eyes and it had broken him. He had to admit that was one of the reasons he had left – he couldn't bear to face up to what he had done.

But Syed had spent the night thinking and at some point everything had become stupidly, obviously ridiculously clear...and he woke up with a clarity he'd only dreamt of several weeks ago.

Syed loved Christian, totally and without reservation.

What is more he knew Christian loved him too. Syed knew that after everything Christian would still do _anything_ for him...maybe even take a chance a risk his heart one last time?

Some people wait their entire lives to find a love like this. Surely the only real sin here would be to let it go to waste.

Syed took one last moment.

He was a gay Muslim, he accepted that, and he was about to try to convince the only man he had ever loved to give him another chance.

#######################################################################################################################

Syed ran downstairs and out the front door, he thought he might have heard his mum shouting his name but didn't hang around to check. He didn't want to be stopped this morning...

He left the house and turned right, he immediately saw Christian outside The Vic talking to Roxy, he would guess by the way they were talking he was saying goodbye, had he stayed the night?

Syed slowed and approached carefully, he wanted to see Christian but was not sure he could face Roxy...maybe he could just hold back and wait for them to part. He could follow Christian to his flat and catch up with him there...

As he walked closer he could just pick up part of the conversation,

"He needs help...not right for you...deserve better...fun...fit men...laugh..."

Syed caught a little more as he got even nearer,

"I love you, I really do, but you need to get real. Syed doesn't love you; this is not how you behave if you love someone! He's just a scared, weak man who doesn't know how to deal with his confusion about his sexuality...he's looking to you as an emotional crutch and you need to move on or he'll drag you down with him... Christian, you used to be such a laugh; you need to snap out of it!"

He'd heard enough, he walked straight up behind them...

"You don't even know me Roxy..." he faltered and they both spun around, both shocked speechless.

"Who do you think you are? You don't know me, and you know NOTHING about my relationship with Christian! You don't know what we were like when we were together or what it feels like to be apart." His voice was raising and he was started to attract the attention of some of the people on the market. "I love him so much that I can barely breathe when I see him; all I want to do is touch him...all the time! He is the only person who makes me feel totally loved and accepted for who I am, no question asked. He makes me laugh when all I want to do is cry and the only place I feel safe is when I'm in his arms..."

Syed was out of breath, chocking back the tears, struggling not to break down all together.

"I do love him Roxy. Tell him to walk away. Tell him he deserves better, because he does...but please never tell him I don't care...he means more to me than anyone else in the world..."

Christian was staring at him in shock. Roxy also looked shocked, but to Syed's surprise she had tears in her eyes. Syed was suddenly very aware there were people around him; he quickly scanned the little crowd nearby...silence, more shock.

He looked back to Christian, his heart pounding so hard; he was starting to feel a little dizzy.

"Sy..." Christian stopped, tears started to well in his eyes too, then he did what hadn't even occurred to Syed. Christian ran...


	8. Chapter 8

Christian slowed down but kept walking quickly towards his flat, his head was buzzing. What the hell had just happened? What was Syed saying?

He ran up the stairs of his flat and slammed the door. He leant on the door and slipped to the floor, his head falling in his hands...he sobbed twice then looked up sharply. He stared ahead...

What had he just ran away from, the man of his dreams declaring his love?

Well yes.

But what was that declaration exactly? That's what had made him run...it was panic!

Panic and pure fear, did he want to know the answers to that question?

Was that panicked declaration? Was it a plea for help that would soon be followed by tears? Would Syed soon be telling him their love was 'against god's will'? Would Syed run from him?

What was he asking for? Another secret affair? Christian knew he couldn't do that again...but then Syed had just told him he loved him, in front of half the square...

Was that Syed risking it all? News travelled fast around here, nothing said can stay a secret for long. Syed obviously hadn't planned the outburst, but he hadn't controlled himself. Was this a new openness? A real change for Syed? Was he asking for a chance to...?

Christian shock he head and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands.

He couldn't do this all over again. He'd heard lot's of promises before.

#######################################################################################################################

Roxy knocked twice. Waited then knocked again...then she opened the door and her heart broke for her friend. She found him asleep on the sofa, tears streaking down his blotchy face, pain etched there even in sleep. This wasn't her friend...but then it all started to fit together, this was love, this was real.

She'd never really doubted her best friend's honesty, but had questioned how much of this was all tears of a drama queen...

Now having heard Syed and looking at Christian's face she started to cry herself. She brushed the tears away angrily,

"Pull yourself together girl," she said to herself "Mitchell's don't cry, Mitchell's do!"

#######################################################################################################################

Later that afternoon Christian woke to the smell of food.

"Don't get too excited babe" said Roxy as Christian stirred and sat up on the sofa, "I have scrambled egg, bacon, croissant and juice. We can't all be expert caterers."

"How long you been here?"

"Couple of hours...well I went shopping and came back. Your fridge is full of...healthy food!"

Roxy pulled a face, "I also got some wine!"

Christian smile in spite of himself, "Yeah, well this body is a temple..." he winced at the memory of a similar conversation with Syed once. That seemed like a long time ago... "Look Roxy I really appreciate this, I do, but I could do with some time alone and I really ain't hungry."

Roxy stopped cooking, "Well how about we forget the food for now and my new personal trainer takes me for a run? You give me a good work out and later we'll come back here for a long chat and a lecture."

"Some fresh air would be good, but everyone heard before and...we well..."

"Less of that! When have you ever been scared of being centre of attention? Come on..."

As Christian moved to get changed he stopped, "Presume I'm gonna be the one getting the lecture then?"

"Yeah..." Roxy smiled, "Might surprised you though..."

#######################################################################################################################

They actually started talking as they ran in the end,

"You believe him then?" Christian asked.

"That he loves you? Absolutely. The conviction in his eyes sent shivers down my spine. He's pretty fit too..."

"Not what you said the other day Rox."

"No...Well a girl can change her mind. Syed obviously has..."

"Hey!" Christian laughed, as did Roxy.

"...I just hope he knows what he's saying this time. If he hurts you again I'll..."

"What makes you think I'm gonna give him the chance?"

Roxy stopped and turned to face her friend. "Because I know you and because you love him, because that's who you are..."

Christian pulled her into a hug, "...and what makes you think _he_ wants to take the chance, he would have to give up everything. That's a lot to risk..." fear struck Christians heart again.

"Because I know you Christian and you're worth fighting for."

Christian hugged her tighter and hoped this time she was right.

######################################################################################################################

They walked back through the square hand in hand. As they rounded the corner Roxy saw them first, she tried to edge Christian away from their direction but it didn't work.

Eyes met, Christian and Roxy stopped, Masood and Zainab stopped.

Zainab spoke first, "Christian. We need to apologise for earlier." There was not one ounce of real contrition in her voice though. "Physical violence is against everything we stand for, everything we are and as you know we take that _very_ seriously. We should not have sunk to violence, we should not have sunk to your level and for that we have to apologise."

"Sank to his level Zainab?" Roxy spoke up first, "I didn't notice Christian doing any punching!"

"This is really none of your business young _lady_," Zainab snapped at Roxy, "but in the eyes of Allah he is a sinner, there is no escaping that..."

Christian stood looking at Masood, "What's up Masood? Cat got ya tongue?"

"Like my wife says, we are sorry for the violence that occurred, I think it best if we all just try and avoid each other from now on." Masood paused, "My son is ready to move on, and so must we."

"Move on? What do you mean?" Christian felt his gut twist, where was this going?

"Syed has agreed to start the process of finding a new wife, he feels ready to marry again." Zainab announced triumphantly.

Christian and Roxy looked at each other in shock, Roxy ushered Christian away.

"We need to get you inside...now Christian."

As they turned the corner they found Syed waiting by the door to Christian's flat.

They stood and stared at each other, neither spoke.


	9. Chapter 9

**PHEW! Finished! Now a can sit down and enjoy the real thing, see how it really happens! :-D Awwww can't wait for them to get back together! Thanks for all the lovely reviews guys, you've been really nice xx**

**#######################################################################################################################**

Syed walked to Christian, "Please Christian, we need to talk about this."

"No don't need to talk about anything, I'm done talking..." Christian started to walk towards the door...

"Please Christian, just give me the chance to explain...to try to..."

Christian spun at the door, "Try to what Sy? If I didn't know you better I would be beginning to think you were intentionally trying to hurt me, trying to mess with my head!"

Syed was shocked, "I would never...!"

"...I know Sy..." Christian walked towards him; he put his hand up to Syed cheek and spoke softly. "I know you would never hurt me intentionally, but you are, you're breaking my heart every time I see you. I don't think you know what you want and if you aren't sure, and I mean a hundred percent sure, please don't do this to me again..."

"But I _am_ sure Christian; I've always been sure, through all this I've never once doubted I love you, not once. I've questioned everything else, but never that." Syed moved his hand up to cover Christian's, holding Christian's hand to his face.

Christian stared into Syed's eyes trying desperately to find the truth in what he was saying, "So what are you asking me Syed? Are you asking for us to be together? For us to have another affair? Because I can't be your secret again Sy..." Christian looked around to the small gathering of people who had stopped to see the show. "...and you know this isn't very private, your parent will hear..." Christian stopped short and froze.

Syed saw the fear in Christian's eyes and looked around to see what he was looking at...his heart stopped, his mouth fell open...his parents.

######################################################################################################################

They turned and started walking away. Syed called out,

"Mum, dad, please!"

Masood stopped and turned, "You lied to us Syed. You said this foolishness was over, that you were getting help!" Masood came towards him and lowered his voice, he was suddenly aware of the people watching them. He continued in almost a whisper, "You told us you were ready to consider a girlfriend, a wife...a family!"

Syed glanced at Christian, then back to his dad. "I didn't say that, _you_ said that... "

"YOU agreed!" Masood shouted again.

"Only because I thought that was what you wanted to hear", Syed looked down, crushed again, but he took a breath and seemed to find some strength. He looked at his father again. "What do you want me to say dad? Really?"

"The truth! What else would I want you to say?" He was furious now, Zainab still said nothing.

"Even if it isn't what you want to hear dad?...Mum?" he looked to his mother. "Do you want the truth or do you just want me to tell you a story that will make you feel better? Do you just want me to tell you everything will be ok?"

"I want you to come home Syed. Now!" Zainab turned and started to walk away.

"But I can't just pretend anymore mum" Syed followed, "because I love him! Because I can't on existing day after day knowing the person I love is SO close! I can see him, but I'm not allowed to touch him, or just talk to him...or go to him when I've had a bad day and need a hug. "

Syed held his mum's arm lightly, "Do you have any idea what that feels like, to be told you can be with the person you love?" Syed asked this intentionally, knowing the answer. He looked to his father.

They both started to walk away again. "DON'T even compare the two Syed", his father spoke as he walked, "They are two TOTALLY different situations, what you do...what you claim to be is just wrong, it is against our god's will!"

They all stopped now, they were outside their house.

"It is not different dad, you were told your love was wrong, that you couldn't be together. But you fought; you both went against your families and suffered terrible hardship and alienation from your community in order to be together. I'm asking for you to give me that chance, I'm asking for you to give me your blessing. I'm asking for you to do for me what your parents never did for you – let me be with the person I love. Give me your support...I'm begging you!" Syed touched the top of Masood's arm, "...please just love me!"

Masood shrugged forcefully and shoved Syed away; he caught him off balance and knocked him to the floor. Masood looked down to his son, "You are asking for something we can never give you, our blessing to follow your lustful thoughts, to betray our religion and our god. We will never give our blessing to such an abomination, what you do disgusts me."

Syed sat up and reached to his mother, "Mum please, you know I love you, but I love him. I'm _in_ love with him, I need him, you must understand?"

Zainab stepped one step closer to Masood, "You heard your father Syed, you are making a choice here." She had tears in her eyes, "By choosing _that _man you are turning your back on your whole family...Syed...you can't really want this?"

Syed looked in his mothers eyes, she was pleading with him, asking him to change his mind. She was giving him another chance. He looked to his father, Masood looked away but Syed saw the emotion in his face... They were giving Syed a chance to take back what he'd said, to undo all this and go on pretending.

But to what end? Nothing would change. His parents giving him this chance just made that clear to Syed. If he went back now he would have to live the rest of his life in a lie, and he couldn't do that.

Syed looked to the floor.

Zainab gasped, "You cannot choose him Syed. He will just use you and throw you aside, they all do, people like him don't commit, and you will be left with nothing."

Syed met his mum's eyes again, never attempting to get up from the floor. "He isn't like that mum, he's caring and loving, he's the most loyal man I've ever met...he..."

"YOU disgust me!" Masood cut in, "From this day forward I only have two sons!" He turned and walked to the door, Zainab followed only looking back once.

They entered the house and shut the door behind them.

######################################################################################################################

Speechless Syed sat on the pavement, had he just lost everything?

He tried to piece together his thoughts, god he didn't even have a place to live. Then he felt movement nearby and looked up, it was towards the sun so had to squint his eyes.

A hand reached out to him and eyes met his. Tears pooled again in Syed's eyes but this time in relief and total joy. He reached out to take the hand and was immediately pulled to his feet and into an embrace. A tight, warm, comforting hug that told him everything was going to be ok.

"You must know that as long as you'll have me you'll never have 'nothing' Syed?" Christian whispered down to him. Syed sighed and smiled.

"You'll have _me_ then?" Syed pulled back and looked up at him.

Christian shrugged in mock apathy, "Well you ain't got anywhere else to go...and I couldn't see you on the streets." He laughed gently.

"You mean I can move into your flat? You wouldn't mind? I mean...are you sure?" Syed was still so unsure of himself, but that just seemed to amuse Christian even more.

"I've spent the last year longing to spend more than a few hours with the man I love Syed, living with him? That's a dream I never thought would come true, especially not in these last few weeks."

Leaving his arm around Syed Christian started to lead him away.

#######################################################################################################################

"So what now then?" Syed leant his head on Christians shoulder. He was enjoying the intimacy almost as much as Christian's obvious shock at how cosy Syed was being with him in public.

Christian smiled down at him, "Home. Our home."

"Our home" Syed tried it out, "I like the sound of that..."

They continued walking.

"So were you there the whole time?" Syed asked.

"No...I got to you around the time you were telling your mum you love me. I thought I was going to faint!" Christian tightened his arm around Syed. "I hated watching them talk to you like that, hurt you...but I knew it was between the three of you and it wasn't my place to get involved, not that time..."

Syed smiled sadly at him and nodded. "It's not the first time I've told her that you know, that I love you."

"No...But it's the first time I've _heard _you tell them. I didn't think it was possible but I think it made me love you even more. You were being so brave, risking so much...losing so much it seems..." Christian suddenly sounded sad. "Are you sure, this is what you want Syed...are you sure I'm worth it?"

Syed laughed now. "After all that? You'd better be!" He put his arm back round Christian as they rounded the corner. They were almost at the flat, their flat.

"Who knows what will happen Christian, I'm not going to say this will be easy...it's going to take a lot of changes and hard work, from both of us. But we have each other and that's definitely a place to start from".

Christian smiled again. This was going to be fine. They're home.


End file.
